January 05, 2011

Second Day

I'm trying. I really am.

It feels okay during the day when I'm distracted by classes. But then I'm done and I start feeling stressed. Like my classes are impossible. Like this is all impossible.

But really, what kills me most, is that I have no choice. There's nowhere I can transfer to. I'm stuck here. I honestly have no idea what to do.

I try to tell myself it will be okay. I try to tell myself I like it here. But it doesn't change anything.

I just want my mom. I want to be home. I want California. I want my family. I want to be happy.

But I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I want my education. But this is so hard. I'm utterly lost. The only way to escape is sleep.

I hate it. It's only been two days and I feel like dying.

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