I think because I had a schedule that I repeated. And watched a lot of stuff to keep my mind off things. But more importantly, I think it was because I was surprised by some friends.
I got to talk to Jess. I hadn't talked to her in forever. She made me laugh and distracted me. And reminded me that she is always there for me.
And because Megan is just awesome. She's seen me at my worst and still sticks by me. She listens and lets me cry. She lets me bum around her apartment and wants to live with me for the rest of our college career. (Which we are going to sign for tomorrow! Yay!!) And she's always there for me.
I think that's what I need most. Through everything, I can't help but feel like I'm completely alone. Even though my mom tells me she's always there. Friends tell me they're always there. But for some reason, I always feel like an imposition or something.
Still, I have this desire to know someone cares. That someone is there.
I'm trying to stay positive.
I still cried. It's still too cold. And it still just sucks. I'm trying to distract myself. I'm hoping it'll get better. As my roommate so aptly put it: "Fake it til you make it."
I think the "make it" part is still a long ways off.
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