Home

Tonight, I really miss home. I miss my friends there. I miss the feel of a real city. I miss the way you can see the beach on clear days. I miss the feeling of being completely surrounded by people who love me. I miss the diversity.

Most of all, I miss my family and that feeling of belonging that comes with being near them.

If I didn't have to worry about school or money or anything else, I'd be in my car and driving down I-15 right now.

I miss my parents.

I miss my little brother.

I miss the comings and goings of a family unit. I miss the crazy get-togethers. I miss talking with my mom in person about whatever is on my mind. I miss the quiet moments I get with my dad. I miss screaming to extremely loud music in the car with my brother before we go out somewhere public and he embarrasses me somehow.

They say home is where the heart is. I know exactly where mine is.

People

There comes this moment when you realize that some people are going to think whatever they want of you simply because they can't deal with the truth. They're going to hear what they want to hear, think what they want to think. And no matter how hard you try to see the good, how much you try to save the relationship, it's not going to change.

That realization hurts.

There could be hundreds of good memories in your past, but they're just that: memories. You start to wonder at what point to stop fighting because all you're doing is hurting yourself and reaching for something that doesn't exist. And then you start to worry that maybe, just maybe, they're right. Maybe you are a bad person. Maybe you do hurt people maliciously.

Because if you didn't, why then do the majority of people seem to walk out on you without a glance backward?

Struggle

I haven't written a lot lately. I think it's because I've been so determined to just go with it and accept what is. But there are some days when I can't fight back the negativity.

I've been doing well for the most part. Every now and then I catch a little "I wish I was in California" thought floating across my mind. Or I catch myself panicking about the future. I can usually push it back and move on. That is, until this morning when I woke up completely sad.

The fact that it's Friday the 13th hasn't escaped me.

I don't usually put stock in stuff like that, but today I can't help it. I keep thinking it's summer and I should be at home, at the beach, with my family. But then I remember that I can't go to school there, I don't have a job there . . . nowhere that I really belong. I don't feel like I really belong here either. What am I supposed to do with my life when I actually finish school?

What do I have going for me?

Ekphrasis

\ˈek-frə-səs\ - a literary description of or commentary on a visual work of art

Winter semester, my English professor told us about the sonnet challenge he had dedicated himself to. He created a blog and every single day, for an entire year, he writes a sonnet.

Of course, I was intrigued by this. But . . . I hate poetry. Why would I want to write sonnets?

Well, that's where ekphrasis comes in. I am challenging myself to write a short ekphrastic piece every day for the next year.

And I'm excited!

So, what does that mean? Well, I'm going to set up a separate blog where all the pieces, along with the photo or piece of art will be posted. Because that's what ekphrasis is: literature based on visual art.

Here's where my plea comes in. I'm asking you - yes, you, reading this blog - to send me pictures. Something you find on the internet, your favorite painting, whatever you want will work! Remember, I have 365 pieces to do here, people. I need art! Please!

So, give me a bit to set up the blog and get the ball rolling. But in the meantime, send those pictures to sydneywright11@gmail.com. I will love you forever!!