A Mermaid and A City

I love being reunited with one of my best friends.

We find the strangest things to talk about and giggle madly like we're twelve years old.

And then there's the random things we find in each others' rooms that spark old memories.

"Reminder" stickers.

Deflated balloon animals.

Bumblebee shirts.

She's my constant. We are so similar, and yet completely opposite of each other. Maybe it's the opposition that makes us so similar. It makes us fit together.

No judging. 100% honesty. All secrets are out in the open between us.

Even if she annoys me or makes me mad, I still love her to death. We can sit together for hours in silence or roll around on the ground laughing hysterically. No one would understand our conversations. They would get lost in the interrupting subjects and stories.

At the end of the day, she's always been the one who stayed by my side and continues to stay there. Even when we're way too far apart.

The phone calls aren't the same as seeing her in person. And rest assured, I tackle-hug her every time we meet up after a long separation.

Like I said: I love being reunited with my best friend.

The Window

"She stood, in a room of crumbling plaster, pressed to the window-pane, looking up at the unattainable form of everything she loved. She did not know the nature of her loneliness. The only words that named it were: This is not the world I expected." -- Ayn Rand

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost . . . Or Are They?

I feel lost.

I used to think I knew exactly what I wanted out of life. Where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be. Now, I don't seem to know anything.

I can't pinpoint when exactly this happened or why. All I know is that I'm questioning. Everything. Maybe I'm not where I'm supposed to be. Maybe I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It's confusing and frustrating. I don't think I've ever doubted myself like I am now.

I like to think I'm a fairly normal person. Shouldn't someone normal know what they're doing? What they're feeling?

Maybe I'm not so normal after all. I'm a mess. I don't know what I'm doing or what all this stuff is that I'm feeling. Pain. Hurt. Fear of the unknown. Hope.

What I do know is that, right now, I'm wandering. And I'm not wandering with a purpose. Sorry, Mr. Tolkien, but I just don't agree with you right now. I would have a purpose, even if I was just meandering along.

For now, I just want to get in my car and drive or curl up with a friend. I suppose the dog will have to do. At least she won't tell anyone my secrets.

~Sydney

Book Review: The Awakening

Another book down! This is going to be a good reading summer. Yay!

I've neglected this poor book. I waited for it to come out in paperback and then put it aside so I could read Burned. I started reading it again last night and stayed up until 3:00 AM to finish it. (For those wondering, yes, this happens frequently.) It was worth the lost sleep.

The first book in this series, The Summoning, was interesting. It's about a group of teens in a special house that all have strange powers. For example, Chloe, the narrator, is a necromancer. All the teenagers are learning to use/control their powers. This was the basis of the first book: finding out what was going on and so on and so forth. I don't want to get too into it in case anyone decides to read them.

This book was better than the first, I thought. Chloe and Derek's friendship grew more, which I loved. (I'm secretly rooting for Derek and Chloe but I don't know how plausible that is . . .) Also, a great thing about these books is how vivid the scenes are. They aren't described detail by detail, but the way they're told makes you see everything. I really appreciate that in a book. Chloe grew more, learning to stand up for herself and making tough decisions. And more secrets were solved, thank goodness.

These books are kind of mystery-ish, so I don't want to give too much away. There's no vampires so it's okay to read them. I promise. They're definitely a good read if you like the supernatural and mysteries.

Happy reading!

~Sydney

Topic Tuesday: Someone Has to Say It

Welcome to another installment of Topic Tuesday! You can go look at Megan's here and Claudia's here. (I will add the links when they're posted.)

I always know people don't say everything they want to, whether it's to me or about something else. How many times have I purposely omitted a thought in my head? The repercussions for anyone, no matter who you are, are endless. What if I offend someone? What if it makes me look stupid? What if I lose a friend over it?

But the truth is, we all need to say it. Wouldn't you rather be told you look bad than go out thinking you looked good because your friends didn't say what they really thought? Wouldn't you rather stand up for yourself and tell people how they make you feel? That you won't take it lying down?

I know I'm being hypocritical here. These words are aimed at me just as much as anybody else.

How many times have you had those words on the tip of your tongue? How many times have you been so close to just saying what you really felt? For all of us wimps out there, there's someone who has found the guts we seem to be missing that allow us to say what we want. And I have no doubt they are happier people. They harbor no secrets and let everything out in the open. They can be themselves. How I wish I was like that. Maybe as I get older . . . wishful thinking.

Then there's always the age-old question: what if you don't say it and something happens? What if you never get to say it? What if some amazing chance passes you up?

Ever since we decided on this topic, this line from Grey's Anatomy has been stuck in my head on repeat:

"Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it. But every now and then, look around. Drink it in. 'Cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."

I want to be an honest person. I want to tell people how I feel about them. I want my loved ones to know exactly what they mean to me. I want the world to know that I don't intend to be sucked in by its ideals. I want people to know, without a doubt, what I stand for.

I have things left to say. I have thoughts I want to share. I have confessions I want to scream to the world. I have secrets I want to let go of. Someone has to say it. "I love you." "Yes, you look fat." "Thank you for everything you do." "I don't agree." "I want you in my life." "That color doesn't work for you." "I can't bear the thought of losing you." "That's a stupid idea." "I don't want to live my life without you."

Someone has to say it.

I hope I can be that someone.  :)

~Sydney